#48: Four things you should never do to lose your baby weight
Losing baby weight isn’t always easy. Eating healthy and moving a lot helps but for some of us mums, lack of sleep and recovery makes it a very slow and frustrating process.
When we don’t get enough sleep, everything is more challenging. We don’t have energy to do long workouts. If we push through and work out, we struggle to recover, feeling tired and sore for too many days (making us more prone to illness and injury). On top of that, our appetite may increase, and we are more tempted to snack and eat treats. Juggling too many responsibilities and feeling the pressure of being a perfect mum makes us often stressed and overwhelmed.
Without enough sleep life is just a bit more challenging (not only for mums but mums often don’t have control over their sleep).
Did you ever wonder why you struggle to lose your baby weight while so many other women, especially celebrities look brilliant just weeks after giving birth? I do, and that can lead to desperation.
I grew up in the diet culture of the 80s and 90s. In my moments of desperation dieting and intense exercise regimes crossed my mind many times.
I cannot diet (I never could) but I tried intense workouts and it almost destroyed me. I would not recommend it to any mum who doesn’t sleep at night.
If you’re desperate and raised in the “diet era” of 80s and 90s, you may have also considered some “old school”, unhealthy and destructive solutions to lose your baby weight. Long term these methods do not work and often lead to injuries and health problems, including fatigue and hormonal imbalances. The risk is not worth it. Here are some unhealthy approaches you should never try to lose your baby weight:
Crash diets
Eat food that gives you energy, supports your recovery and makes you feel good (helps you sleep, keeps your skin, hair, nails healthy, easy to digest and eliminate).
Cutting calories doesn’t only slow down your metabolism and make your body store more fat (the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve) but it also decreases your energy and mental performance. It can lead to nutritional deficiency and health problems. In many cases it can also lead to eating disorders and/or decreased self-esteem. Even though we hear and read that dieting and calorie cutting can only lead to a yo-yo effect and doesn’t bring long lasting results, our unconscious diet culture conditioning makes this attractive.
PS. Replacing our meals with shakes leads to drastic daily calorie reduction which results in our body going into “starvation mode” storing more fat and decreasing our metabolism.
What to do instead?
Eat enough. Eat your veggies and stay hydrated. Avoiding sweets and processed foods is a great (but not easy) starting point. Don’t forget that for as long as you’re breastfeeding you need to eat more and take your pregnancy supplements.
2. Sacrifice your sleep to exercise or train too much
Prioritising sleep has been the biggest challenge for me. Even though always tired, I would never go to bed early. I always had things to do. I did late fitness classes, sometimes went to the gym at midnight if I traveled for work or got up early to go for a jog. Over the years lack of sleep and stress lead to overtraining, fatigue and injuries. Recovery from adrenal fatigue takes years but self care never stops or fatigue is back
The whole concept of getting up an hour earlier to do your workout (do you know anyone who sleeps too much these days?), pushing yourself to do high intensity exercise when you’re exhausted, training late in the evening, etc. doesn’t work for women. No one should sacrifice their sleep to exercise, especially mums. Without sleep our body cannot recover making us fatigued, stressed, sick and injured. This is one of the most important beliefs we must change. For me and many other women it is the hardest one.
As mums we need to guard our energy but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t exercise.
What to do instead?
Adjust your training length and intensity to your recovery (how much sleep you’re getting) and synchronise your workouts with your menstrual cycle. Menstruation is a great time to walk and stretch, while ovulation is perfect for high intensity workouts and weight training. In between follow your energy rising and dropping, choosing fun workouts during your follicular phase and more Pilates-style exercises during the second part of your luteal phase.
If you want to sync your workouts with your menstrual cycle but don’t know where to start join our FB group 5-MIN WORKOUTS FOR TIRED MUMS where I post a new exercise video every day with exercises for every menstrual phase.
Ps. It is also a good idea to have regular blood tests done, checking your iron and vit D levels. Low levels of these can increase your fatigue.
3. Make unrealistic goals
Post birth recovery takes time. Even thought it is safe to start exercising 6 (vaginal birth) or 12 (c-section) weeks after delivery (for delivery without complications) it doesn’t mean that it was enough time for our body to recover. The full recovery takes about 2-3 years. In some tribes men were not allowed to get their women pregnant for 3 years after the birth of a child. This great wisdom has been forgotten or ignored for decades now. Female body needs time to recover. That recovery will look different for every woman, but it always takes time. Therefore, setting unrealistic goals like losing baby weight 4 months after delivery, exercising daily for 30 min (if you haven’t exercise before or you don’t sleep) and running 10k three times a week may be just too much.
What to do instead?
Prioritise recovery. Eat, move and sleep to help your body recover. Identify the one thing that requires the most attention (nutrition if you haven’t been eating well, gentle exercise if you don’t do any, hydration if you often forget to drink, skipping evening telly and going to bed earlier instead). Start with the easiest one and when you’re comfortable with it move to another one (PS. hydration, nutrition and exercise will all improve your sleep quality as well). Yes, it would be great to do it all at once but with a new family member, life that is now upside down, becoming a completely new person (mum) it may be too much to handle. As the little human becomes bigger and bigger things become a bit easier as well.
4. Be mean to yourself
We are our own biggest critics. Unfortunately it doesn’t serve us. It can be changed though.
How often do you criticise yourself? What you said, what you did or didn’t do, etc? It is a female “thing” that makes us stressed and can even lead to health problems. Going over and over in your head about having that chocolate bar, a glass of wine or skipping the workout and calling yourself names is one of the worse things you can do to yourselves. Would you say any of that to your friend? Never, right? Being mean to ourselves often results in giving up (on ourselves) and getting back to old, destructive habits. I truly don’t know why this happens, but it does.
What to do instead?
Celebrate every single small achievement (even with just a “mirror” high five) and focus on your progress. Talk to your self like you would talk to your best friend. Pay attention to your menstrual cycle. We are more prone to be “mean” to ourselves around our menstruation. Being conscious of your quiet “self-talk” and changing it to kind and nice conversation will speed up your recovery, make you less stressed and healthier.
It isn’t easy to accept that our body has changed after pregnancy, and we don’t always have the control over getting it back. But instead of trying to get our old body back it is time to accept and embrace this new, empowered, wiser “mother’s” body. Take care of yourself. Don’t forget to breathe and take breaks. Deep breathing helps reduce stress and anxiety, improves our energy and almost every bodily function (plus, it is the first exercise you can safely do after pregnancy).
Don’t worry about your baby weight. It may take 2-3 years (or until you get enough sleep), but your body will get there. In the meantime, focus on recovery, guard your energy (as your baby needs it) and try to have some fun along the way.
With love,
Karo