#89: Are You Holding Your Breath or Holding Your Core?
“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts.”
Have you ever caught yourself clenching your stomach while lifting your toddler or emptying the dishwasher — only to realise you’re not breathing?
It’s a surprisingly common habit among mums, especially those who’ve had a C-section. You’ve been told to “engage your core,” but no one really explains what that means after your body has been through major surgery. The result? You hold your breath, tighten everything you can, and hope for the best.
But what if that very pattern — breath-holding, gripping, pushing through — is the thing keeping you feeling unstable, tight, or exhausted?
Let’s take a slow breath together and unpack what’s really going on.
The Flat-Belly Era and the Core We Forgot
If you grew up in the '80s, '90s, or early 2000s, chances are you were surrounded by one loud, clear message: a flat stomach was the ideal. From Barbie dolls to magazine covers, the visual cue was everywhere. Models, actresses, and pop icons all seemed to have the same shape — and if your body didn’t match it, you were made to feel like you didn’t belong.
As teenagers, many of us started sucking in our bellies constantly. We didn’t just pose that way in photos — we lived that way. Walking, sitting, running, even doing sports with our abs clenched and our breathing shallow. We didn’t realise it at the time, but this wasn’t just about appearance. It was rewiring our nervous systems and disrupting the way our core was meant to function.
Instead of learning how to breathe fully into our ribs and belly, we learned to brace. Instead of feeling strong from the inside, we were praised for looking small from the outside. Shallow breathing became the norm. And shallow breathing doesn't just limit oxygen — it triggers your stress response. It fuels anxiety, affects digestion, and keeps your body in a state of low-level tension.
Now, as mums, many of us are still unconsciously gripping the same way we did at thirteen — only now we’re doing it while lifting children, rushing through chores, or trying to follow postnatal exercise plans. We go to the gym or physio, told to "engage our core," and we do what we were trained to do: pull everything in and hold our breath.
But there’s a cost. And it's not just physical.
After C-Section: A Deeper Layer of Disconnection
When you’ve had a C-section, everything we’ve just described gets amplified. On top of the social conditioning to hold your belly in and keep everything looking neat, you’ve also had layers of muscle, fascia, and nerves cut through. That surgical trauma doesn’t just go away — it changes the way your core functions. And no matter how many crunches or breathing drills you do, those layers will never quite glide the way they used to.
This was my experience too. When I first started trying to reconnect with belly breathing, I could only do it lying down. And even then, allowing my belly to rise felt strange — sometimes even painful. Letting go of decades of clenching was physically and emotionally uncomfortable. There was grief in that process. And there was shame.
Because even now, as a grown woman and mother, my postpartum tummy doesn’t look the way it did before. It sticks out. It’s softer. And yes, allowing myself to belly breathe in public — especially during my luteal or menstrual phase — can still feel vulnerable. It takes awareness, self-compassion, and courage.
But since I began this journey, everything has shifted. I manage stress better. I sleep more deeply. I recover faster from workouts. I even enjoy movement again — because when I focus on my breath, exercise feels like a form of support, not punishment.
Do you remember that classic 4-point tummy exercise? The one where you draw the belly in while on all fours? It works so much better — and feels so much more empowering — when you let your belly fully go first. That’s when you access the full range. That’s when you stop gripping and start truly activating.
The benefits of abdominal breathing are extensive. And they begin when we give ourselves permission to let go.
What True Core Engagement Feels Like
Real core engagement doesn’t feel like gripping. It feels like connection. It’s subtle. Gentle. Responsive. Think of a soft corset that activates on your exhale and relaxes a little on your inhale.
That’s the rhythm your body is craving. And that’s the rhythm breath-holding interrupts.
If your breathing is shallow, your core muscles can’t coordinate properly. If you’re constantly clenching, you’re not building strength — you’re reinforcing tension. Over time, that can lead to more instability, not less.
But there is another way. And it starts with awareness.
A Simple Practice to Reconnect
Begin by lying on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Place one hand on your lower belly and the other on your chest.
Inhale slowly through your nose, directing about two-thirds of your breath into your belly. Let the lower hand rise first, gently and fully. Only during the final third of your inhale should the hand on your chest begin to lift. Let the ribs expand sideways — let the breath go all in.
This kind of full, diaphragmatic breathing supports not just your abdominal wall, but your whole system. As Paul Chek explains, breathing like this improves oxygen delivery, balances the oxygen–carbon dioxide exchange in the blood, and helps stabilise your body’s acid-alkaline balance. It also engages your parasympathetic nervous system, which supports recovery, digestion, and emotional regulation.
As you exhale, just let it all out. No force. No performance. Just release. Let your body find what feels natural and easy. Repeat this for 5–10 breaths.
Try this practice lying down, sitting upright, and standing. Notice which position feels most challenging. That’s often where your body holds the most habitual tension — and where the greatest shifts can begin.
You’re not doing a workout. You’re giving your body and nervous system permission to feel safe again.
This is your reset.
Strategic Breath-Holding: When It Supports You
While learning to breathe fully and freely is essential, there’s nuance here — and Paul Chek would be the first to say so. Breath-holding isn’t the villain. It’s a tool. The real issue is how and why you use it.
When used consciously — as part of a functional movement pattern — holding your breath can give your spine temporary stability and help generate the internal pressure needed for safety and strength. That’s not something to avoid. That’s something to understand.
Take squatting, for example. As a mum, you squat a dozen times a day — picking up kids, putting away laundry, getting in and out of cars. And your body deserves to feel safe doing it.
Here’s how to use breath-holding as a strategic stabiliser:
Stand with your feet about hip-width apart and your toes turned out slightly. Inhale deeply and gently draw your belly button in toward your spine. That activates the deep abdominal wall and creates a “cylinder of support” for your spine.
Keep your chest open and your spine in a natural curve. As you begin to squat, hold your breath briefly — this gives you internal stability at the most vulnerable point of the movement. Once you begin to rise, then exhale slowly through pursed lips. Feel the ground pushing back against your feet. That’s power.
This isn’t about squeezing your belly or bracing out of fear. It’s about timing. Awareness. Self-responsibility. Use your breath to support, not to hide. That’s what Paul Chek teaches — not to fear the body’s natural systems, but to partner with them.
So yes, breath-holding has its place. But don’t make it your default. Make it your decision. That’s the difference between surviving your day and moving through it with strength and presence.
You Deserve to Breathe Fully Again
You can take control and relearn how to breathe. Your body is capable of reconnecting, and your breath is the pathway in. The old patterns of bracing and holding tension might feel familiar, but they’re not fixed. With awareness and consistent practice, you have the power to change them.
This is how we begin to reclaim our strength — by making choices that serve us. By building trust in our bodies again. And by letting our breath guide us back to balance.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to guide you.
Download my C-section Core Recovery Guide with LA1 and LA2 — two simple, powerful exercises that help you reconnect with your deep abdominal muscles, gently and effectively.
These movements teach you how to engage your core without holding your breath. You’ll learn how to feel supported from within, even while breathing — building trust in your body and confidence in yourself.
This isn’t about pushing through. It’s about feeling safe, steady, and strong — even on the hard days. Not perfect. Just present, and powerful in your own way.
You don’t have to do it alone. But you do get to believe in your strength.
[Download your free guide here.]
With Love,
Karo