#75: Caffeine and Fatigue: Is Your Morning Coffee Making You More Tired?
The Energy Illusion of Coffee
For many mums, coffee is more than just a drink—it’s a ritual. It’s that warm, familiar moment of stillness before the day begins, a deep inhale before the chaos unfolds. That first sip feels like pressing a reset button, shaking off the grogginess of another restless night and stepping into "functioning mode." It’s comforting, reliable, and, for many, non-negotiable.
But here’s something to consider: Are you drinking coffee because you genuinely enjoy it, or because you need it just to feel normal?
If skipping your morning coffee makes you feel sluggish, headachy, or irritable, it’s not necessarily a sign that coffee is giving you energy—it’s a sign that your body has become dependent on caffeine to function. What seems like a moment of comfort might actually be withdrawal in disguise.
There’s a difference between choosing coffee with intention and relying on it as a crutch. When coffee is the first thing you reach for—before food, before water, before even checking in with yourself—it’s not a nourishing ritual. It’s a habit of survival rather than a practice of self-care. Instead of truly building energy, caffeine might just be masking exhaustion, keeping you stuck in a cycle where you need more and more just to get through the day.
So, is coffee really giving you energy, or is it just borrowing it? And if it’s the latter, how can you restore your body’s natural energy so you no longer feel like you need it to survive?
This isn’t about giving up coffee. It’s about giving yourself the chance to experience what real, sustainable energy feels like—without the crashes, the dependency, or the constant need for more.
Let’s explore what that could look like together. 💛
The Hidden Ways Coffee Depletes Energy
Caffeine has become one of the most socially accepted ways to override exhaustion. Instead of listening to our body’s signals and giving it what it actually needs—whether that’s sleep, nourishment, or simply a moment of stillness—we push through. The body says, “I’m tired.” Coffee responds, “No, you’re not.”
At its core, fatigue is not the enemy. It’s a message, a request for recovery. But in today’s world, rest is undervalued—often seen as indulgent, unproductive, or even lazy. We live in a culture that glorifies busyness, rewards overworking, and leaves little room for simply being. Mums, in particular, are conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to how much they do for others, not how well they care for themselves.
As a result, we don’t know how to rest. We don’t know how to preserve our energy, how to say no, or how to build a life that supports—not drains—our vitality. And so, when exhaustion inevitably creeps in, we reach for caffeine to keep going.
But here’s the catch: caffeine isn’t actually giving you more energy. It’s just tricking your brain into thinking you have more than you do.
Caffeine works by blocking adenosine, a neurotransmitter that signals to your body that it’s time to rest. When caffeine interferes with this process, you feel more awake—even if your body is still tired. But adenosine doesn’t just disappear. It continues to build up in the background, meaning that as soon as the caffeine wears off, exhaustion can hit even harder.
At the same time, coffee triggers the release of cortisol, your body’s main stress hormone. This gives you that immediate alertness, but it also puts you into a mild state of fight-or-flight. Blood sugar spikes, the nervous system kicks into high gear, and for a little while, you feel unstoppable.
But what goes up must come down.
That cortisol surge is always followed by a crash, leaving you feeling drained, irritable, and often craving more caffeine or sugar to compensate. Over time, this constant rollercoaster takes a toll on the adrenal glands, pushing the body further into burnout, hormonal imbalances, and deeper exhaustion—the very thing coffee was meant to help you avoid.
Paul Chek, a leading voice in holistic health, often talks about how our “stress bucket” can only hold so much before it overflows—and when it does, our body breaks down. We become overwhelmed, reactive, and unable to handle even minor stressors. I know exactly how that feels. When you’re constantly running on empty, even small challenges feel insurmountable, and the cycle of exhaustion deepens.
And here’s the hard truth: when mums don’t make space for themselves—when they are always doing, always pushing, always fuelled by caffeine instead of true nourishment—they cannot fully show up for anyone else.
True presence requires energy. It requires calm, resilience, and the ability to regulate your own nervous system so you can be emotionally available—not just for your family, but for yourself. Caffeine makes this much harder. It keeps the body in a constant state of high alert, heightening stress rather than easing it, and over time, it disconnects us from what we actually need.
This is why reducing reliance on caffeine isn’t just about energy—it’s about self-care, self-respect, and self-love. It’s about shifting the deeply ingrained social conditioning that tells us we must always do instead of allowing ourselves to just be.
We need a cultural reset. It’s time to start valuing rest as much as productivity, presence as much as performance. Because when you take care of yourself first, you don’t just have more energy—you have more to give, more patience, more clarity, more resilience. And that’s what your family truly needs—not a version of you that’s running on coffee fumes, but one that is deeply nourished, present, and whole.
Caffeine, Hormones, and the Female Body: A Delicate Balance
Women’s bodies are beautifully intricate, designed to flow through cycles of renewal, rest, and creation. But in a world that constantly demands us to push, strive, and do more, we often override these natural rhythms—tapping into masculine energy just to keep up.
Caffeine plays right into this imbalance. It forces us into a state of alertness, fuelling the go, go, go mentality, while quietly draining the very reserves we need to feel grounded, nourished, and well. While caffeine affects everyone, women are particularly sensitive to its impact on hormones.
Studies suggest that caffeine can alter oestrogen levels, and for some women, it slows down the liver’s ability to clear excess oestrogen from the body. When this happens, hormonal imbalances can arise—causing heavier or more painful periods, worsening PMS, and even intensifying perimenopause symptoms. If you’ve noticed mood swings, bloating, or irregular cycles, it may be worth questioning whether coffee is playing a role.
Caffeine also depletes magnesium, an essential mineral for relaxation, energy production, and nervous system balance. Magnesium is already used up more quickly during times of stress or hormonal shifts, so if your body is running low, adding caffeine can leave you feeling wired, anxious, and exhausted all at once.
Many women instinctively know that caffeine affects them differently throughout their cycle. If you’ve ever felt more anxious or jittery before your period, or noticed that coffee leaves you drained in the second half of your cycle, this isn’t in your head—it’s your body communicating with you.
And this is where the real message lies: your menstrual cycle is a mirror of your health. It reflects the delicate balance of your hormones, your stress levels, and how well your body is being cared for. If your cycle is irregular, missing, or changing—whether that means shorter cycles, longer cycles, more pain, or worsening PMS—this is your body sending you a signal.
For some women, quitting caffeine entirely may be the only way to fully restore balance. Since caffeine influences cortisol, blood sugar, and nutrient depletion—three key factors in hormone health—removing it can be a powerful reset. If you’ve been struggling with hormonal symptoms and nothing seems to help, consider trying a caffeine-free month to see how your body responds.
This isn’t about restriction—it’s about reclaiming your natural energy. Women are nurturers, intuitive and deeply in tune with those around them. But that ability to care must start within. If we are constantly depleting ourselves, running on stress and stimulants, how can we be fully present for those we love?
It’s time to shift the narrative. Instead of pushing ourselves to exhaustion, we can choose to honour our bodies, to listen, to nourish, to restore. And in doing so, we don’t just regain our energy—we awaken our feminine power.
Caffeine and Sleep: The Hidden Disruptor
Sleep is the foundation of true energy. It’s when your body repairs, restores, and replenishes the reserves you’ve used throughout the day. But what if the very thing you’re relying on for energy—your morning coffee, that mid-afternoon pick-me-up—is the reason you’re not getting the deep, restorative rest you need?
Caffeine’s effects linger in the body much longer than we realise. Even if you don’t feel jittery or restless, caffeine has a half-life of up to 12 hours, meaning that an afternoon coffee can still be circulating in your system well into the night. This might not stop you from falling asleep, but it can reduce deep sleep—the stage where real recovery happens. If your sleep is lighter, more fragmented, or leaves you feeling just as exhausted in the morning as when you went to bed, caffeine could be playing a bigger role than you think.
For tired mums, this can quickly turn into a vicious cycle. Poor sleep leaves you groggy and reaching for coffee the next morning. That extra caffeine keeps your nervous system stimulated well into the evening, subtly interfering with the very rest you need to break free from exhaustion. And so, the loop continues—more coffee, less sleep, more fatigue.
You might not even realise it’s happening. But if you find yourself relying on caffeine just to function, waking up tired even after a full night in bed, or feeling wired but exhausted at the same time, it may be time to gently question whether caffeine is serving you or holding you back.
The good news? Small shifts—like delaying your first coffee, switching to gentler alternatives later in the day, or experimenting with a caffeine-free evening—can be enough to start restoring your natural rhythms. Paul Chek, a leader in holistic health, suggests a simple trick—keeping a few coffee beans handy and slowly chewing them instead of reaching for another cup. This way, you can still enjoy the rich taste and ritual of coffee without overstimulating your nervous system or disrupting your sleep.
True energy doesn’t come from what you drink. It comes from how well your body is able to recharge. And when you create space for real rest, you may find that you don’t need coffee to feel alive—you already are.
Soft Drinks and Caffeine: A Hidden Problem for Kids
Just as caffeine can disrupt sleep and drain energy for adults, it has an even more profound impact on children. And yet, caffeine isn’t just hiding in coffee. Soft drinks, energy drinks, and even some teas can have the same stimulating effects—often without parents realising it.
Children’s nervous systems are still developing, making them far more sensitive to caffeine than adults. What might feel like a harmless can of cola or a flavoured iced tea could be overloading their tiny bodies with stimulants, keeping them in a state of hyperactivity, restlessness, and stress.
Many soft drinks don’t just contain caffeine—they’re also packed with sugar, leading to the same blood sugar spikes and crashes that leave adults exhausted. But for children, these fluctuations can feel even more extreme. Sudden bursts of energy followed by crankiness, difficulty focusing, and trouble settling at night can all be signs that their nervous system is being overstimulated.
Even more concerning, some children who struggle with hyperactivity, mood swings, or difficulty concentrating may not have an attention disorder at all—their symptoms may be directly linked to their diet, particularly caffeine and sugar intake. Research suggests that some cases of ADHD may be misdiagnosed, when in reality, a child’s nervous system is simply overwhelmed by stimulants and blood sugar imbalances.
When a child regularly consumes caffeine and sugar—whether from fizzy drinks, energy drinks, or even sweetened teas—their nervous system is in a constant state of stimulation. This can lead to impulsivity, trouble focusing, erratic mood swings, and poor sleep—all of which are also symptoms of ADHD. Unfortunately, many children are given medication to manage their behaviour, when in some cases, dietary changes could make a significant difference.
And then there are the so-called "healthier" alternatives—sugar-free drinks. Marketed as a better choice, these often contain artificial sweeteners, flavour enhancers, and chemical additives that can be even more harmful than sugar itself. Aspartame, sucralose, and other artificial sweeteners have been linked to gut microbiome imbalances, increased cravings, and even metabolic issues. They trick the brain into expecting sugar, confusing the body’s natural hunger and satiety signals, which can lead to overeating or an even stronger desire for sweet foods.
What’s worse, sugar-free sodas and energy drinks often contain just as much caffeine (if not more) than their sugary counterparts, making them no better for energy regulation, concentration, or sleep. These drinks don’t nourish children or adults—they overstimulate, deplete, and leave the body more exhausted in the long run.
So, what’s the best choice? It’s simple: water.
Water is truly the only drink that hydrates, supports natural energy, and allows the body to function at its best. If your child (or you) is craving something more flavourful, consider infusing water with fresh fruits, herbs, or a squeeze of lemon for a naturally refreshing alternative. Coconut water, in moderation, can also be a great choice as it replenishes electrolytes without artificial additives.
The more we become aware of how caffeine, sugar, and artificial ingredients shape not just our energy but also our children’s wellbeing, the more we can make choices that support their natural rhythms instead of working against them. And just like with ourselves, the goal isn’t restriction—it’s about creating habits that truly nourish, restore, and support lifelong energy.
How to Enjoy Coffee Without Wrecking Your Energy
If the thought of giving up coffee makes you want to cry, take a deep breath—you don’t necessarily have to quit completely. But how and when you drink it makes all the difference.
For many women, coffee isn’t just about the caffeine—it’s a ritual, a moment of pause before the day begins. And rituals are powerful. But when that ritual is built around something that depletes rather than nourishes, it can leave you more exhausted in the long run. The good news? You can still enjoy coffee in a way that supports, rather than drains, your energy.
One of the biggest shifts you can make is timing. Drinking coffee first thing in the morning might feel necessary, but it can actually interfere with your body’s natural cortisol rhythm. Your body is designed to wake up with a natural surge of cortisol—drinking coffee too early can override this process, making you more dependent on caffeine in the long run. Try waiting at least 90 minutes after waking before having your first cup to allow your body to regulate its energy naturally and prevent that mid-morning slump.
What you pair with your coffee also matters. Drinking it on an empty stomach is a double hit to your system—it not only spikes cortisol and blood sugar but also affects nutrient absorption. Caffeine can block the absorption of key minerals like iron, calcium, and zinc, meaning that even if you’re eating well, your body may not be fully benefiting from the nutrients in your food.
This is why it’s so important to never skip breakfast and never drink coffee on an empty stomach. Your body needs real fuel before any caffeine enters the system. A protein-rich breakfast—with eggs, healthy fats, and some complex carbs—sets the foundation for steady energy and balanced blood sugar. Only after your body has been properly nourished should coffee come into the picture. The best time to have coffee is at least 30–60 minutes after a well-balanced breakfast, giving your body time to digest and absorb the nutrients first.
If you’ve ever noticed that coffee makes you anxious, jittery, or worsens PMS, your body might be telling you it’s time for a gentler approach. Women’s hormones fluctuate throughout the month, and some phases of the cycle are more sensitive to caffeine than others. If you find that coffee leaves you feeling more depleted in the second half of your cycle, consider switching to lower-caffeine alternatives—chicory root coffee, matcha (which contains L-theanine for a calmer energy boost), or adaptogenic drinks like reishi and ashwagandha, which support energy levels without pushing the body into stress mode.
Paul Chek also suggests an easy way to enjoy the ritual of coffee without the full caffeine hit—simply keep a few coffee beans handy and chew them slowly instead of drinking another cup. This way, you can still experience the deep, comforting taste of coffee while avoiding the overstimulation that comes from a second or third cup.
Coffee isn’t inherently bad, but it’s a powerful stimulant that can either support or sabotage your energy depending on how you consume it. With a few small shifts, you can turn your coffee habit into a mindful practice—one that works with your body rather than against it. And as you begin to listen to what your body truly needs, you might find that you don’t need coffee to wake up—you’re already awake, energised, and fully present.
Try This Instead: A Morning Drink That Actually Boosts Energy
Before reaching for coffee, why not give your body what it truly needs first? Real energy doesn’t come from caffeine—it comes from hydration, minerals, and deep nourishment. After hours of sleep, your body wakes up in a naturally dehydrated state, and drinking coffee right away can further deplete essential minerals, setting you up for an energy crash later.
Instead, start your morning with this simple yet powerful mineral-rich elixir to gently wake up your body, replenish electrolytes, and support natural energy production—before caffeine even enters the equation.
🌿 Replenishing Morning Elixir 🌿
1 cup warm water
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice (to support digestion and liver function)
½ teaspoon sea salt (to replenish essential minerals and support adrenal function)
½ teaspoon honey (optional) (for a gentle blood sugar boost and added nourishment)
¼ teaspoon magnesium powder (optional) (for deeper relaxation and nervous system support)
This recipe is inspired by electrolyte-balancing and adrenal-supporting drinks used in holistic health and functional medicine. Practitioners like Paul Chek, Dr. F. Batmanghelidj (Your Body’s Many Cries for Water), and Weston A. Price have long emphasised the importance of proper hydration, mineral intake, and stress regulation for sustained energy and hormonal balance.
Water First, Always
It’s important to remember that while this elixir can be a helpful tool to support your body in transitioning away from caffeine reliance, it is not meant to replace pure water throughout the day.
Your body thrives on clean, mineral-rich water. Drinking plain water with just a pinch of high-quality sea salt is often all that’s needed to maintain hydration. Too many herbal infusions, teas, or elixirs can overload the body, especially if they contain sweeteners or high amounts of minerals that the body doesn’t need in excess.
This elixir is simply a short-term tool to help shift morning habits—a bridge towards a more natural way of energising yourself, rather than another long-term dependency. The real goal? To listen to your body’s needs, hydrate properly, and learn to create sustainable energy from within.
Your body will thank you. 💛
Final Thoughts: Rethinking Coffee, Reclaiming Energy
Coffee isn’t the enemy. It’s a powerful tool, a ritual, and for many, a moment of comfort in a busy day. But like any tool, it can either support you or deplete you, depending on how and when you use it.
If you find yourself more tired despite drinking coffee, struggling with PMS or anxiety, or waking up exhausted even after a full night’s sleep, your body might be asking for a change. Instead of relying on caffeine to push through exhaustion, what if you gave your body what it actually needs?
Start small. Delay your first coffee, nourish yourself with a proper breakfast, and hydrate before reaching for caffeine. Pay attention to how your body feels at different times of the month—maybe coffee serves you well in one phase but leaves you depleted in another. And if you feel ready, experiment with gentler alternatives or a caffeine-free period to see how your energy shifts.
This isn’t about restriction—it’s about empowerment. It’s about honouring your body’s natural rhythms, making choices that truly support you, and realising that real energy doesn’t come from a cup—it comes from within.
And if you do make a change, I’d love to hear how it works for you. 💛 Your journey to balanced, sustainable energy starts here.
This version flows more naturally while still keeping all the science-backed insights. It also feels more inviting—like a conversation rather than a list of facts. What do you think? 😊
With Love,
Karol